I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
