Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
