You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
