I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
