I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
