Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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