i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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