So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
