I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
