Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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