sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
