I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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