worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
