I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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