Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
