he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
