If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
