i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
