She said her name was "party"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
