Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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