Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
