how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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