btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
