Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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