I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We had to coat check the pizza.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
