office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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