So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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