Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
