You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
