Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Small penises have feelings too.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
