Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
