I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
