My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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