I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
