You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
