I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
