make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
