I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
