it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
this is an emotional support booty call
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
