his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
