Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
