no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I could make wine with my vomit
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
