I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
