OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
