To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
