haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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