Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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