Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
