for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
