At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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