whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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