Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
